Upset

I'm going to keep this post vague. Because I really just need to let this out without stepping on any toes.

I got some really depressing news today in the middle of dinner. Everyone acted so casual about it; I guess I was the only one who didn't know yet. So I had to act like everything was okay, and I was okay. I wasn't. I went to work earlier this evening in a stooper. I was going through the motions. Now that I've finally gotten home it's all hit me. I can't stop crying.
The worst part is that I heard this information from the wrong person. I should have heard it from the one who it involved. Maybe I'm being selfish and I shouldn't get upset, but I am. I can't help it.  I'm hurt. I'm partially angry. I'm upset. I'm scared. I'm confused.
Something I wasn't going to have to think about until next year is happening very soon. I really wish I didn't find out the way I did.

It just hurts. I'm not entirely sure why it hurts me so much, but it does and I just can't seem to stop from crying now that it's set in. 

I'm asking for prayer. I really need it right now.