A ReCap

So sorry for the late update; so much has gone on it's been crazy. I have lots to tell. You've been warned.

My birthday has come and gone; (June29) I'm now 19 years old! We all had a great dinner at The Golden Corral (for those of you who haven't been; it's a very nice buffet filled with every type of food imaginable. Yum! Yum!). Here are my siblings and I:

(Aren't we a very attractive bunch? Lol.)

It was a wonderful birthday though. I got a manga-fantasy-drawing-book. Some very beautiful-hand-crafted-hobo-jewelry. A Polaroid Tablet. And a hot-dog toaster.

Yes, you read that right. A hot-dog toaster.

It works very well. Makes great hot-dogs when I don't feel like cooking. Yum-yum! Probably my second favorite gift...


My all-time favorite gift was given to me in North Carolina. Yes, we went on our trip to see Austin. It was amazing. It was so fun. And like the last time, I never wanted to leave.
We stayed from a Wednesday to Sunday. Austin and I had a date-night to ourselves Friday. We all just had the best time together. The first day I got to see Austin he gave me my favorite gift. It's so beautiful. I love it. I love it so, so much...

I love this ring to the very depths of my soul. It's so beautiful and Austin picked it out all by himself! I love it! He got it from Kay Jewelry. Every kiss begins with Kay... (and ohhhh yeah, he got a kiss for it.) Austin said he couldn't wait to give it to me on our date night, so he gave it to me early. (So impatient...) I think its the most beautiful thing in the world. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I love him. God has blessed me.
 It killed me to leave him. I just wanted to stay...I wanted to take him with us...I didn't cry as much as the last time (thank goodness with his parents standing around), but some tears did fall. Goodness, I miss him already. So, so much.


That's all for now. Til later.

-Sarah

Things Are Looking Up

Good morning everyone! Well, I'm a little down-hearted because I just got finished watching the episode "Journey's End" on Doctor Who (the newer series). The Doctor should have just taken Rose with him...the 2nd Doctor be darned. Someone else could have watched him. The real Doctor and Rose could have flown away in the Tardis and lived happily ever after...until Rose got old and withered away, but whatever! Still a better love story then Twilight.

All Doctor-Who-ness aside, I've got some good news! My financial aid at BCTC has finally been taken care of! I accepted and submitted it yesterday, actually. Now I'm just waiting for the "pending" notification to go away; then my tuition and books are paid for and I'll get a refund sometime in the next month or so. Woot! Woot! God is good-all the time. : )

I've been thinking about starting another small blog on Tumblr. Something has been eating at me lately. I've got this blog all about my Marine and me...which is so, so important to me. It seems to take up a lot of my time...but I'm spending more time worrying and thinking about it then my God. And He should always come first. 

I've been eaten by condemnation and guilt though. How could something take place before my Loving Lord and Savior? So I've decided to start a blog about faith and love in the Lord on Tumblr. I don't have a name for it yet, and I'm not quite sure how it's going to go...but I think it'll help me keep on track more. I'll have something public I'm obligated to; which is embarrassing to say that I have to be obligated to work harder for God...but distractions have been all around me. I think I can get more focused on Him with something physical that I have to write about everyday. 

I'm still praying on it. I'm going to continue praying on it, and I'll let you all know if and when I get it up. 

Some side news-good new! 

I have the best most-likely-probably-yeah-they're-gonna-be-future-in-laws in the world. Yesterday I sent a text to Austin's mom telling her that my dad and I had decided to have a pizza/movie night (Avengers and supreme if you wanna know) yesterday night, so I wouldn't be a church. Well I got a phone call from her not even a two minutes after that. 

We chatted a little and then she said that her and Aust's dad were going to see Austin in NC around the weekend of July 4th. I think Austin gets a day or two of leave or something. Anyway...then she asked if I could take off work and go with them as my birthday gift!
Of course, I accepted and said "yes". How could I resist? 

However, I still have to see if I can get off work for five-ish days...I'll take it as my vacation or something. My boss can't say no (well she could...) it's my birthday! (My birthday is really June 29th but whatever...). I'm hoping and praying that I can get off. I'll work on my days off or something to make up for it. I can do that much at least.
The trip is just in the planning stage though...so who knows? I'm just excited at the thought of seeing Austin. I miss him. 

But I'm going to get some exercise before it rains...maybe go to mom's house for a swim or something. I haven't visited her in a while. I miss her too! 

Thanks for reading everyone, things are looking up,

My God's good<3

-Sarah

He's Been Promoted!

If you all haven't noticed the changes to the left side panel of my blog...I insist you look. Particularly around the first sentence of Austin's bio.

Yes, he's a Lance Corporal now! (If you're reading this; congrats baby!)

I'm so proud of him. I'm so, so proud. I'm the proudest girlfriend in the history of forever on this planet. (Well, graduation was pretty awesome...) No longer is he a private, or a pfc, he's a lance corporal! Which, no-isn't the highest rank in the world, but it's some rank and it's taken a lot of hard work. Anyone who says otherwise can suck my toes and die.

What? I'm a tad protective of my own. I can't help it.

But I'm proud of him; I just had to brag a little, ya know? And I'm gonna ask that you all be praying for Austin. I haven't gotten to hear from him lately; but his parents have. They say he sounds tired and worn out. I'm just a tad worried about him. I know Austin is in God's hands, but I can't help it. I worry anyway. And it's bad that I do that, and I'm working on it.
I just love him to little pieces and never want anything bad to ever happen to him. If I could move there now and take care of him all the time, I so would. I really would.

*sigh*

Anywho, I'm getting some sleep. I watched seven babies at VBS tonight and it has worn me out.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

E-Cards! And Upate!

Hello Everyone, sorry for my terrible update habits. I've been so busy, and my priority right now is updating my May Marine Motivation Tumblr page. (Which I'm pretty bad at to so...) I've just been busy. So many decisions. It's terrible.

An update on Austin:

Austin's been training at 29 Palms for a few weeks now. Well, about 3-ish. I've gotten the blessing of hearing his voice once a week. Which, you military girlfriends/fiances/wives will understand, is a very, very, very beautiful thing. We still get to text on and off. Mostly I just send little things because I don't want to bother Austin while he's over there. I have been finding these hilarious e-card pictures I send to him though...

I just thought these were so cute and hilarious! I love them! If you haven't sent a couple of these, I recommend that you should! Your boo will love them. :)

It's almost the end of May though, and Austin should be leaving California sometime early June. I'm excited! I really can't wait, because I plan on going to see him as soon as possible! I've already got money saved for the tickets, so yeah. I'm ready. Ready-freddy.

Gah, I just can't wait until he can come home for good.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah

Miss Him

I'll have to thoroughly update you all later, right now I only have one thing to say:

I sincerely, dearly, utterly, and crazily miss my Austin to bits right now. I think I'm gonna go insane. :(

Off to work,

Sarah

Time Zone Clock

I have time for a super-quick post before work!

Well, Austin is in California now. More specifically he's at 29-Palms. It's no different then him being in North Carolina, but it feels different anyway. I'm more anxious than usual. I just want him back home. I miss him. And I hate our different time zones. I feel like that's gonna mess with me...so I put a new California timezone clock on the right bar on the side of the blog.
(Feel free to stare at it for a little while...)

But I must be off to work now! (I said "super-quick"). I just wanted to update you all a little bit!

Ciao! Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

"I Hate Sand"

My last post was whiny and down-trodded. I apologize, but I really was a wreck at the moment.

God really hears you when you pray though, and He works things out in His time. Not yours. I praise Him and thank Him every day that it works out like that, because if He gave me everything I wanted, I wouldn't be a very happy person. I wouldn't be the best person I can be. (I'm still not, but I'm getting there!)

An update on Austin:
I know it's not safe to give away the exact day that your soldier is moving somewhere; so I'll just say that Austin is leaving for California very, very soon. He called me yesterday (it was amazing to hear his voice! it always is!) and gave me the impression that he's not very excited about it himself...though, in his circumstances I wouldn't be either. 29 Palms happens to be in the middle of the desert. One comment I heard Austin say over and over was,

"I hate sand."

It was a good phone call. We just really joked a lot; we're a joking couple. Austin can get serious and sweet too though. It's something I love about him. He always surprises me.
Austin's deployment day has been moved too. It's not in December or January anymore. They day he'll be setting off is within the next two months and he's supposed to be gone for around a year. Austin told me that we should still be able to talk and so forth...maybe. Hopefully. I'm really praying on it. I don't know if I could go a year without hearing from him...

Austin should get some leave time after he gets back from California though, in June. I'm really, really looking forward to it. As soon as I know when; I'm taking off work those days and using them as my "vacation days". (Which we really don't have a set amount of days, but a couple of girls are taking a week off at sometime or a another for vacation sooo...) I can't wait to see him! I already have a count-down app set on my phone!
Now, I just have to find him a birthday present...wish me luck!


That's all I'm writing for now, but there should be more later. It's my day off soooo-yep. :)

Thanks for reading!

-Sara

California...boohoo.

I feel rushed this morning...I don't like it! I have to work at two today until closing and tomorrow is my mother's birthday! And my friend's birthday! So I have to get their gifts ready before work tomorrow...and I have church before work...and three hours in between to get my mom's gift to her. I can't say what I got for her, because she might possibly, probably-yeah, she reads this.

So you understand I can't tell.
-and I can't tell my friend's yet either. Just in case.
(Ha! Not spilling the beans, guys!)

I got news. Austin is leaving North Carolina for California on May ***. Not for good (thank goodness) but for Urban Combat Training -or something like that- and he'll be back in around a month. I'm worried, a little bit, because it's supposed to be dangerous training...he's supposed to be doing stuff like this:

But quite possibly, knowing him,  in reality he'll probably be doing stuff like this:

But you never know. 

Just please keep him and all of us who worry about him in your prayers. This isn't easy on any side of the fence.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Just Call Me "Grouchy Bear"

It's Sunday morning, which is a blessing all in itself! Again, I want to apologize for the lack of posts lately. My motivation has been lacking, my physical strength slacking, and my family has had a rough week to go through.

I don't really have much news to give. Lately, I seem to be in a rut. A really bad rut that I need to get out of. I've been biting people's heads off left and right! It's a wonder my father even tries to speak to me at all! I really don't mean to be this meanie-terrible-person. I'm usually pretty pleasant. I know stress is no excuse for bad behavior, but I'm hacking it and saying that it's mine.
I had a nine-hour work day yesterday, which honestly wasn't bad. I had a lot of fun with the people I work with! There was a ton of laughing and no one really made any mistakes, so it was a good day! (Besides the working through two shifts thing and not having any time for anything yesterday) I'm blessed to have the hours I get now though. I got Thursday added to my schedule, so thumbs up! I'm getting hours! I'm just whining 'cause this my blog and I can :)

 Now, the real reason why I'm all upset. I'm wary to say anything, but it's tied in my blog, and sets the future in the nature of this blog so... I haven't had a decent conversation with Austin for three weeks. He texted me once two weeks ago, and once again last week. I haven't really gotten a response when I've texted him. Which has me on edge, I'm not gonna lie. Usually I've gotten a call...or something by now. I'm not gonna go any deeper than this on here though.

So yes, I've been having this crazy,emotional train running 'round and 'round in my head and heart. I mean, I'm not a blubbering mess or kicking puppies or anything, but I've been pretty grouchy lately and probably not-so-fun to live with. I've been praying a lot though, and I've been preparing myself to make any decision that I have to. (I'm not talking about any one situation so don't jump to conclusions here...) Please be praying for me too. I'm to the point to where I just want a straight answer so I can move on with my life.

But thank you everyone. I know I whine and rant on here a lot more than anything, and I'm working hard to change that. I'm just not too sure what direction my life is gonna take, and that bothers me. I like to plan. I like surety.

Amen.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Day Out With The Girls

I love a good girl's day, especially when it's my family. We haven't had much time together lately, so we all just made the decision to go to Lexington and eat and hit the mall!
We left at 9:30 this morning (early-ish, but Rachael had to be at work by 3:00 sooo-), so I got up at 7:00. Thirty minutes early! Woot! (I'm actually really tired right now, but I'm texting Austin, so you can bet I'm not sleeping just yet!)
But we ate at the Olive Garden! I love that place, the food is so, so good! I love their endless soup and salad deal. I get so full! Chicken and Gnocci for the win! Who else is with me?

This is my younger cousin, Amber. She finally is old enough to go with us on our Girl's Days!
Yay! I love her :)

 The poor guy serving us was constantly re-filling our salad and drinks. We're veggie-freaks. And bread-stick freaks. And alfredo-sauce-freaks. (Well, the rest of my family is, I don't really like the stuff...the alfredo sauce. I love everything else!)
Then we got dessert. We NEVER get dessert, but I guess today was just...special.

I forgot the name; maybe it was Zoppoli. Anyway, it was really good! The squares are like doughnuts, except more...sugary...and then you had chocolate sauce to dip them in. I almost died, it was so delicious! I took great deal not to think about all the calories I was consuming...it was just so good!

Then we went looking around the Fayette Mall, which is always fun, because none of hardly ever get to go! We went into a few stores, nothing major. Rachael was a total shopaholic though. Going into every store...she sometimes wears me out when it's just me and her. I'm not as much as a shopper as she is. I like my hard-earned-money too much.
There was one thing that I was looking at though.  Just looking of course, it's not like I could get it for myself...well I could, but that would be freaky, weird and inappropriate.

Yes, it's a ring! Not just any ring, but an engagement ring! I know. I'm jittery just thinking about it. I was walking around in JCPenny's one day with Rachael and I remember seeing this one. It's so simple and small, and not the price that most girl's would be appreciative of, but I love it. It's not even really an bridal ring, it's a promise ring. I've been hesitant to say much about it, but Austin and I have talked about getting married. I mean, we're waiting until the right time, but we have talked about it.
I'll have to put the whole story in another post, because there's too much emotion and just...awe-ness in it to put in this one.
It needs a post of it's own.
But anywho, I think the ring is beautiful, even if it's not a huge rock on a gold band. I don't feel I need that and honestly, I don't like those. I feel like a ring with a big diamond would get in the way a lot. I want a simple ring, that's still equally beautiful, still with a small diamond (or my birth stone) that I can wear all time and be able to show off!
I think this one is beautiful and unique. I would love it. What do you ya'll think? I thought about sending the picture to Austin via text with a winky face. It never happened. I'm not bold enough for that. :)

These are pretty and I like them. More expensive too. I still like my cheap, promise ring better though.

And once my mom and mamaw saw that I had started looking at rings, they came over too. Had the lady at the counter take some out and let me try some on. The nice lady was just telling me all about them and said that it wasn't unfamiliar for a woman to come in and take pictures...said she's a few men come in and actually buy them afterwards. I should have gotten my ring size while I was at it ;) Lol.

It was a great day though. I loved it. I've said it a million times and you'll see it on here a million more; but God has blessed me. So, so much. I couldn't even begin to thank him. I couldn't even start to try.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

An Amazing Easter Weekend

Okay, I understand that I've been absent this weekend, but for a good reason!

Austin came in this weekend. Yes. Yes. YES! I had forgotten if he said he was coming in for Easter weekend or the next...so it was kind of a little surprise when he called me Friday morning and was all "Hey, I'm home. Wanna come over?" I had to work at four but it was only nine-thirty so I was all for it. I swear, it was the fastest I had ever gotten ready.

I met up with his family and him at his grandparents house and we went out to lunch. Goodness, I'd missed him. It was great spending time with him and his family all at the same time. They're all such cut-ups and so comfortable to be around. It's just a fun time with them all together.
After lunch we went back to Austin's house and him and I watched Family Guy and David Chapel (not sure I'm spelling his name right...) on Netflix.
Then I had to woooork. Blah. But Terry, my boss, let me off early, bless her heart : )

Saturday I had to work from eleven to four, which wasn't bad. Afterwards I met up with Austin and his little brother Matthew at his house. They were planning out some strategies for an online game...or something or another like that. I wasn't too sure. He's such a nerd, but he's my nerd, lol.
We just kinda lazed around at his house until it was dinner time. We went over to Aust's grandparent's house and feasted on lasagna, salad and garlic bread. It was so good!

Easter was fun. I got ready in the dress I got for the occasion. (If you look to the right, you'll see the picture of me I stole from my mother. She won't mind...hopefully.)
When I got to Austin's that morning, him, Matt and his grandparent's were waiting for me in the car...I was a little late. It was all good though, we got there at a good time. In fact, I probably did them a favor.
After the early morning service at mammi and pawpi's (what I call Aust's grandparents) church, there was a ton of food to eat! I got some fresh fruit and I home-made cinnamon roll. It was all soooo good.
We went back to house when we were finished and everyone ('cept moi) went to go change and get ready for the actual church service at our normal church (Vally Baptist).
I was goofing around with Matthew on the piano when Jesse, Aust's dad, yells out "Sarah, you're going to have to close your eyes! And not open them for the rest of the day! Don't look at my kid!" I was clue-less.
At least until Austin walked out.
He was in a brand-new black suit I hadn't seen before, complete with a greenish-teal colored tie that went beautifully with his eyes. He looked so, so amazing! Tanya (Austin's mom) took some pictures of us; I'll share them on here with ya'll when I get the chance. I mean, I'm conflicted to share them with you guys 'cause I don't want you staring at my Austin for that long...he looked so good. Just...ahhhhhhhhhh....

The church service was awesome. You could just feel God there. Tanya taught our women's class and I was just about in tears with her re-telling of God's arising. She put so much emotion into it. I felt like I was there. I felt like Mary, in confusion and heart-ache, wondering where they had moved my Lord's body. I was just moved. I felt God and I loved it. I wanted more.
Our pastor talked about how so many people get dressed up and go to church on Easter Sunday. Thousands of people who normally don't, go and sit and listen to the service, but don't ever come back 'til the next year. How can you love God only 1 day out the 365 in a year? (Not to say you don't love God if you choose not to go to church; that's your personal relationship with Him and I would never judge anyone like that.) My heart just aches for those lost. I want to do something about it.
Austin surprised us all by saying the opening prayer. It's stupid, but I just felt this pride-thing seeing him up there. It sounds stupid, but I did. Austin has a really good voice. I don't mean that sound-wise (well, good sound-wise too but that's not the point I'm making) but speaker-wise. He seemed so at ease up there...
He sat next to me the whole time and held my hand when I didn't need it to turn pages in my bible. I loved it.
I love him.
But I hated it when he had to leave. Which, of course, he had to. We left a little bit early from church because they had to be on the road by 12:30 to make it to his flight back to North Carolina. He was flying out of Louisville, which is about 3 hours away. His flight was at 4:15, so they had to get a move on. After getting teased for our goodbye kisses and sweet-nothings, Austin and I parted ways. I drove Matthew home and he made jokes and kept me laughing the whole way home. Maybe my defeated-mood was noticed.

After I dropped him off, I went over to my nanny's house. She was having an her Easter Dinner. We feasted and told jokes and laughed and just had a great time together. Everyone asked after Aust and wanted to know where he was going next and what he was doing. That's what I love about my family; all of them. They care.

And I special thank you to my sister, Rachael! When I woke up Easter morning, this is what I found. I have the most amazing sister in the universe and beyond and I wouldn't trade her for a thing. I named the teddy-bear "Austi". "He's supposed to keep you company," Rachael said.

Yeah, I had the best Easter weekend. I really did. I hope everyone's was as good as mine. I know I had real blessings this year.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Just Some Thoughts

Okay, a little while back I decided that Pharmacy wasn't the path my life was meant to go (or that I'm mis-reading God's signals if it is). Honestly, I think I knew that, it's just that the path I really think I'm meant to go down isn't really...financially sound. 

I want to spend my life in charity. Spreading awareness and supporting charities that don't get the recognition they deserve for all that they do. I would rather live in poverty then sit by and watch someone suffer because they don't have the means to support themselves; because they don't even get the chance. I want to spread the grace of God through love and support of others. 

I'm just not sure how to do that yet. I've been having thoughts concerning starting an online charity store selling items and products made from recycled materials (in addition to my efforts as an awareness-raising journalist). It's all in my head, but it's all jumbled. I need to get organized and make some decisions. 

On another note, another very exciting note; I'm going to finally be starting my online college classes.
Yes, after many, many months of boring phone calls that got no-where, lots of campus visits, and tons of frustration, it's done. I'm starting this next Tuesday on two classes to get my Financial Aid processed ( I have to get the classes done by April 30th) and then once the Aid is processed I can go ahead and get enrolled in my next classes. 

So I'm very, very excited! I can't wait. I'm so glad I got this new advisor; she is working miracles for me. I just have to get these two classes done by April 30th, which is more then enough time. 

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Meet "Morgan"

This last Saturday my sister came home with a cat. Not just any cat, an indoor cat. Never before had we had an indoor cat, or any inside animal for that matter. (Except rabbits, ferrets, gerbils, hamsters, and a turtle. But you know-never a cat.) The cat was a surprise, at least for my father it was, who doesn't approve of little animals running around the house.
Fuzzy, he calls them. "They will get the house, fuzzy."

Alas, world, meet Morgan. Our new adorable house kitty.

Dismiss the clawing of my leg and the devilish look in her eyes-it's just the picture. I swear. She's the most adorable, lovable and the funniest thing, I've ever seen. Little Morgan was following me around the house all this morning while I was getting ready for my appointment with the doctor. The first day we let her explore around, she rubbed all over everything, no doubt claiming it as hers. It's okay though, she can have the house; I've already fallen for her little kitty charms. She's adorable, nothing can change that.

On another note, I'm so ready for summer to come. I'm uptown at my mother's house at the moment (which I love staying with my mom, but still...) because it was just too dangerous to drive all the way home. It's snowing, and the road was getting bad. So I stopped in at mom's and am staying the night here. Hopefully the road will be better by tomorrow.
I just want the sun. I want warmth. I just want my garden. Which, if you look to the right, will be right there. That big brush of weeds you see, yeah. That is going to be transformed into a garden this summer. By me. By hand, if I have to. With a hoe (the garden tool, not an actual...) and a shovel and whatever else I need. Man-power (woman-power) will always conquer over machinery anyway. It'll be good exercise, I say and I'll have some veggies in the yard. Yum!

Thanks for reading, 

-Sarah

Feeling Thankful (and all that lovey-gushy stuff)

I'm just feeling completely thankful. God has blessed me so, so much. I have so much to be thankful and praise Him for. I have family and friends that love me to death. I have people to love. I have a roof over my head to shield me and food to satisfy my hunger. I have a job and a wonderful vehicle that gets me where I need to go with great mileage. I feel like I don't deserve any of this; I certainly haven't done anything to, but God somehow, someway finds me worthy. My Lord and Savior died on the cross for me. For everyone. What more could a girl want? It's the ultimate love story.

Speaking of love, I have Austin to be thankful for. Today is anniversary of the day we met. 41 months ago. Three years and four months ago. I feel that I haven't expressed that enough over the past few weeks on here just how thankful for him I am. He's been working so hard to keep contact with me. Called me when he's only had moments to spare. Texted me when he doesn't have the luxury of voice-to-voice communication. He's been constantly reminding me that he loves me, every day.
Lately, there hasn't been a day that I haven't heard from Austin. I love it. I'm getting spoiled. Probably too spoiled, but I'm totally soaking it in while I can. I'm so, so thankful for him. God blessed me with my perfect match and I believe that we're working through this with His perfect timing.

@slhallphotography@gmail.com >>> Yes I have a globe.
I'm classy, not nerdy.

I know that I don't always to take the time to tell Austin just how much I appreciate him taking the time and working so hard to make this work. I just assume that he knows. (We all know what assuming does though...) We talked on the phone today for about two hours after he got off work today. Phone convos were never our forte I don't think (at least not for me, I could never think of what to say) but they're getting easier and natural. Today was natural-ish. I loved it. And (here it comes-you've all heard it before) I love his voice.
Austin had to get off because someone else was on the other line and his room was getting inspected anyway. He called me later tonight to tell me goodnight and I was in the shower. I missed his call, but he sent me the sweetest text letting me know he's sorry he couldn't get a-hold of me and that he was "hitting the hay" (I love when his country talk comes out, it's so cute!) for work tomorrow. It just made me smile. It just made me thankful.
It made me feel so lucky to have someone like Austin in my life. We don't ever fight (at least not any real ones, we play-fight and insult each other all the time). We cherish every moment. We fit like puzzle pieces. We're both God-fearing. We know how to have fun. We know each other's weaknesses and strengths and are learning to play off the other's. We both agree that a relationship is a learning experience; it takes time.

  This is Blake Shelton singing "God Gave Me You". It's an amazing song with an amazing amount of meaning. It's actually my ringtone for when Austin calls. It's silly, but it's like the song was based around us.
Austin doesn't know it yet, but this is "our song". He probably has another one picked out for us, but that's too bad. ;p

And Aust, if you get to read this...well, I mean every word. I'm a shy, hesitant little thing, as you know, and sometimes that might come off as not caring, but know that it's the exact opposite. I love you and I thank God for you everyday. Thank you isn't and couldn't ever be enough.

Thanks for reading through the gushy and mushy everyone,

-Sarah

Reality Check

Alright. I know, I had this big countdown and then I left you all hanging. I was in a bit of a funk for a day or two after I got back so I apologize. No, my trip didn't put me in a "funk" but returning to the real world did.
My weekend was amazing; I was in my own little piece of Heaven. Well, Jacksonville.

This is not my photo. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't get any pictures during my weekend.
None. And I'm sorry because I promised you all some. :(

My first plane from the LEX Airport started boarding around 12:20 Friday afternoon. I got stopped in security. Well, I got searched in security. (Patted down and everything...by a woman, thank God...I think) Apparently cord/wooden bracelets and purity rings don't do well in the X-Ray...thing.
My flight connected to the airport in Charlotte, NC and then a short 30minute flight to Jacksonville. I arrived around 3:40ish in the afternoon or something like that. After a short wait (and a few phone calls/texts to my parents and other adolescences and peers that worry about my well-being) I got a text from Austin telling me that he just got out from the field. (Which meant him un-packing, showering, getting re-packed for the weekend, ect)
He wasn't able to pick me up as planned because it would have taken too long, so I took a taxi ride(from a guy named "Bobby" who liked to call me sweetheart) and after a phone call and a hotel switch I found myself at The Quality Inn's lobby reading the Hobbit waiting for Austin to arrive.

(** For those of you poor, poor people who don't know what the Hobbit is, please take a moment to click here. Then buy the book. Seriously, the movie does none of it justice.)

One moment I'm reading, the next Austin is in the lobby and I've jumped up and flung myself in his arms. (It was like something like hallmark...I promised myself I wouldn't ever be one of those girls. I couldn't help myself.) The greeting was brief, neither of us being one for PDA, but...perfect. The weekend was perfect. We shopped around the mall and saw Warm Bodies. We went out to eat a lot. (Speaking of which, has anyone ever seen a Marine eat? God, it's scary-ish. Austin had his plate clean in like, 30 seconds, then all he had to do was sit and watch me eat. Which made me nervous and not-so-hungry...) He showed me around Camp Lejeune, which is like a whole town itself. It's so big!
Around Sunday both of us were just exhausted from running around the whole weekend, so we just chilled at the hotel and watched SouthPark/Family Guy on Netflix all day and lazed around. (Well, Austin played his new Pokemon Soul Silver version...I just kinda cat-napped the whole day) ((We're both just lazy people.))
 Monday was a sad day, the day I had to get on my plane and go home. Austin took me out to the Golden Corral for breakfast and then off to the Airport we went.

I'm not gonna lie, leaving was so, so hard. I felt my heart breaking in two on the drive over. What really got me was Austin murmuring "You're leaving me..." in the car on the way over. I already did my crying that morning in the shower before we went to breakfast in order to avoid making the separation harder. We parked and Aust walked me inside and we just sat in the lobby and waited. He said "he appreciated me coming to see him" and I told him "he was welcome". Our goodbyes are always like that; so polite and not-so-casual. Trying not to make a big deal out of it...it's a way of making it easier I think. (I didn't really help, I teared up anyway) Finally it was time for me to board. We embraced and I hugged him for as long as I would let myself.
"I'll see you soon." is what he always says. Even when it's not going to be "soon". He says time passes by fast. I guess.
Then the tears tried to start...it was so hard. I hated leaving him. He helped me get my stuff over to the security check and we kissed for the last time. A light, feather kiss on the lips, and then his signature kiss on my forehead. Bittersweet really. He said he'd stay until I got through security. I kept turning around and looking at him, I couldn't help it. The check went without incident...and I gathered my bags and turned to look at him one last time. I mouthed "I love you" and sent him an air-kiss. I caught his response on my lips before finally turning away for the last time and making myself walk away.

I know people thought I was crazy, or just...I don't know. I was crying so much sitting in that airport chair, waiting for my zone to be called. I only thing I wanted to do was walk out of there back to Austin. Which I know, sounds so selfish and unpractical. I mean, I come home and I have family that love me and missed me while I gone. My dad came to pick me up from the airport because I was so tired. I have my life in Kentucky, but (brace yourselves for cheesy-ness) my heart is in North Carolina.
The way home was hard. I just kept thinking how miserable it felt to leave him. The rest of the day was...harder still. I missed him. I still miss him. A lot.
Which is selfish because I actually got to see him. He has so many people waiting on him at home, and I got to see him and I'm complaining that I miss him...Gah.

Well, I'm blessed and thankful I got to go. Austin called me last night to tell me he'd be in the field all week and wouldn't be able to talk until the weekend. He helped get me out of my funk a lot. I told him how much I was missing him and complained a bit about how hard the whole situation is. I'm a lot better now, because he just pointed out something obvious that I kinda already knew, but...if he wasn't in the Marines, he would be in college for about four years. Our relationship would be the same then. Him being at EKU (coming home every other weekend) and me being at BCTC and working. The waiting would still be there. And honestly, I don't think we'd be as close as we are, if that makes any sense. I think the separation as made us...closer.
It's not the easiest situation, but its not the worst and it's something I'm willing to work through. It's worth it.
He's worth it. 

So I'm going to work hard and keep busy. Hopefully, time really will fly by.

Sorry about all the whining and the late update. My next post will be more upbeat and have more pictures.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

A Phone Call and Update

I love phone calls and I never used to. It was after I met Austin that I really started to get excited about them. Hearing his voice, about his day, what's been going on in his life...it just makes me happy. I love him.

This is the signed Ever After coat receipt from the book I got for Austin.
He literally whined for it over the phone and made me promise
to get it for him...he hasn't ever even read the first book.

 Austin called while we were waiting in line to get the book signed by Kim. 

He's moved units and is "actually starting training" now. 

(today he's doing something with engineering...) 

We talked about my coming down to see him. I'm buying the round-a-bout tickets (at an awesome price I found on Priceline! a lot less expensive then I thought it would be) and such, then we're just going to pick the hotel when I get there. 

I'm thinking I'll stay from a Thursday to Monday; if just to make sure I get to spend every second I can with Austin while I'm there. 

I'm just anxious to see him since he told me about his deployment that'll be happening in around a year. I want to be able to see him as much as possible while I can. Austin will be going out to California for training before then too...
I don't know how I feel about it all. It hasn't really sunk in I guess. The thing is I'm not really feeling sad or upset and I feel like I should. Like I'm betraying him by not crying or feeling depressed.

Actually I'm at peace with it. I mean, I've known that he'd have to deploy sometime, I just didn't know when and now that I know...I'm still just at peace with it. All of this got confirmed only last night...

And the only thing I'm crying over is the sad ending to this Drop Dead Diva episode. 

It was so not fair of Grayson to kiss Stacy. She's not Deb.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah

Sickness and Revisions

I don't get sick very often, but when I do it gets bad. I mean, I had to take off work today I felt so bad. I haven't taken off work once in the past 5-6 months I've been working there so it sucks to break my on-going record. I went to work sick on Wednesday and Thursday, but I guess karma is getting me today.

My nose is literally raw from of the tissues I've used, and I'm so hungry, but every time I eat I get sick. I haven't had a decent meal in two days. I've got these chills too that make me really cold and then I get really hot like I've been standing next to an oven for hours. I'm in my bed now piled up under three blankets with the heater on. 

Oh, and the fatigue! I just can't get enough sleep. Even now, my fingers keep hitting the wrong keys because I'm just so tired. I've been cat-napping all day, and when I wake up the same thought goes through my head every time "I feel so useless, I need to..." but then I've drifted off again.

So, I'm sorry for this boring post. Head fuzzy and all that.

I have had some time to look at blog in a new light though. I've been re-reading it between my unconscious states and have decided to change a few things. Some revisions, per say.

I mean, the whole "couple thing" will still be a big part of the blog; just not the focusing object. I made this blog with the idea of focusing on myself more, getting more independent. I'm still thinking on everything. The blog may even take on a new look.

I know its confusing to make changes when I've just started and such, but I'd rather make them now then when I get more publicity. So sorry for any confusions, and just be looking for the more updated content on my blog. I'll keep the posts I've already posted and probably the general "look" of the blog, but it'll take on a more personal "Sarah-ness".

I don't know. I"m still thinking about everything, and the good idea fairy + a fever probably doesn't equal to much anything good.=p

Keep your fingers crossed and please be praying that I make a quick recovery! I know I am.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

How This All Started?

I've been struggling with putting this blog together. I've had so many ideas swimming around in my head, so many topics I wanted to blog about and just so many thoughts that I went into overload. I couldn't take it. 

So I decided to go ahead and start writing. 

So, um, hi. My name is Sarah. 

I have a story to tell. It isn’t filled with valiant knights seeking princesses locked away in towers guarded by vicious fire-breathing beasts. There aren’t any magic-bearing wizards guiding a young hero’s way to victory. There isn’t even any magic, at least, not REAL magic. Maybe the metaphorical kind. 

This isn’t a fairytale, because there isn’t a happy ending. Not yet, anyway. It’s a story still in progress; still living and breathing and writing the events marked on pages of its own book. 

No, this is my story. And I find it beautiful. My life, in finding who I believe to be the “love of my life”. 

Knock on wood for me somebody. My desk is currently cushiony. 

So follow me in my journey to "better myself" (when really I'm just wasting away time until the next meeting with my Marine). It's sure to be one hell of a ride.