Reality Check

Alright. I know, I had this big countdown and then I left you all hanging. I was in a bit of a funk for a day or two after I got back so I apologize. No, my trip didn't put me in a "funk" but returning to the real world did.
My weekend was amazing; I was in my own little piece of Heaven. Well, Jacksonville.

This is not my photo. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't get any pictures during my weekend.
None. And I'm sorry because I promised you all some. :(

My first plane from the LEX Airport started boarding around 12:20 Friday afternoon. I got stopped in security. Well, I got searched in security. (Patted down and a woman, thank God...I think) Apparently cord/wooden bracelets and purity rings don't do well in the X-Ray...thing.
My flight connected to the airport in Charlotte, NC and then a short 30minute flight to Jacksonville. I arrived around 3:40ish in the afternoon or something like that. After a short wait (and a few phone calls/texts to my parents and other adolescences and peers that worry about my well-being) I got a text from Austin telling me that he just got out from the field. (Which meant him un-packing, showering, getting re-packed for the weekend, ect)
He wasn't able to pick me up as planned because it would have taken too long, so I took a taxi ride(from a guy named "Bobby" who liked to call me sweetheart) and after a phone call and a hotel switch I found myself at The Quality Inn's lobby reading the Hobbit waiting for Austin to arrive.

(** For those of you poor, poor people who don't know what the Hobbit is, please take a moment to click here. Then buy the book. Seriously, the movie does none of it justice.)

One moment I'm reading, the next Austin is in the lobby and I've jumped up and flung myself in his arms. (It was like something like hallmark...I promised myself I wouldn't ever be one of those girls. I couldn't help myself.) The greeting was brief, neither of us being one for PDA, but...perfect. The weekend was perfect. We shopped around the mall and saw Warm Bodies. We went out to eat a lot. (Speaking of which, has anyone ever seen a Marine eat? God, it's scary-ish. Austin had his plate clean in like, 30 seconds, then all he had to do was sit and watch me eat. Which made me nervous and not-so-hungry...) He showed me around Camp Lejeune, which is like a whole town itself. It's so big!
Around Sunday both of us were just exhausted from running around the whole weekend, so we just chilled at the hotel and watched SouthPark/Family Guy on Netflix all day and lazed around. (Well, Austin played his new Pokemon Soul Silver version...I just kinda cat-napped the whole day) ((We're both just lazy people.))
 Monday was a sad day, the day I had to get on my plane and go home. Austin took me out to the Golden Corral for breakfast and then off to the Airport we went.

I'm not gonna lie, leaving was so, so hard. I felt my heart breaking in two on the drive over. What really got me was Austin murmuring "You're leaving me..." in the car on the way over. I already did my crying that morning in the shower before we went to breakfast in order to avoid making the separation harder. We parked and Aust walked me inside and we just sat in the lobby and waited. He said "he appreciated me coming to see him" and I told him "he was welcome". Our goodbyes are always like that; so polite and not-so-casual. Trying not to make a big deal out of's a way of making it easier I think. (I didn't really help, I teared up anyway) Finally it was time for me to board. We embraced and I hugged him for as long as I would let myself.
"I'll see you soon." is what he always says. Even when it's not going to be "soon". He says time passes by fast. I guess.
Then the tears tried to was so hard. I hated leaving him. He helped me get my stuff over to the security check and we kissed for the last time. A light, feather kiss on the lips, and then his signature kiss on my forehead. Bittersweet really. He said he'd stay until I got through security. I kept turning around and looking at him, I couldn't help it. The check went without incident...and I gathered my bags and turned to look at him one last time. I mouthed "I love you" and sent him an air-kiss. I caught his response on my lips before finally turning away for the last time and making myself walk away.

I know people thought I was crazy, or just...I don't know. I was crying so much sitting in that airport chair, waiting for my zone to be called. I only thing I wanted to do was walk out of there back to Austin. Which I know, sounds so selfish and unpractical. I mean, I come home and I have family that love me and missed me while I gone. My dad came to pick me up from the airport because I was so tired. I have my life in Kentucky, but (brace yourselves for cheesy-ness) my heart is in North Carolina.
The way home was hard. I just kept thinking how miserable it felt to leave him. The rest of the day was...harder still. I missed him. I still miss him. A lot.
Which is selfish because I actually got to see him. He has so many people waiting on him at home, and I got to see him and I'm complaining that I miss him...Gah.

Well, I'm blessed and thankful I got to go. Austin called me last night to tell me he'd be in the field all week and wouldn't be able to talk until the weekend. He helped get me out of my funk a lot. I told him how much I was missing him and complained a bit about how hard the whole situation is. I'm a lot better now, because he just pointed out something obvious that I kinda already knew, but...if he wasn't in the Marines, he would be in college for about four years. Our relationship would be the same then. Him being at EKU (coming home every other weekend) and me being at BCTC and working. The waiting would still be there. And honestly, I don't think we'd be as close as we are, if that makes any sense. I think the separation as made us...closer.
It's not the easiest situation, but its not the worst and it's something I'm willing to work through. It's worth it.
He's worth it. 

So I'm going to work hard and keep busy. Hopefully, time really will fly by.

Sorry about all the whining and the late update. My next post will be more upbeat and have more pictures.

Thanks for reading!


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