A ReCap

So sorry for the late update; so much has gone on it's been crazy. I have lots to tell. You've been warned.

My birthday has come and gone; (June29) I'm now 19 years old! We all had a great dinner at The Golden Corral (for those of you who haven't been; it's a very nice buffet filled with every type of food imaginable. Yum! Yum!). Here are my siblings and I:

(Aren't we a very attractive bunch? Lol.)

It was a wonderful birthday though. I got a manga-fantasy-drawing-book. Some very beautiful-hand-crafted-hobo-jewelry. A Polaroid Tablet. And a hot-dog toaster.

Yes, you read that right. A hot-dog toaster.

It works very well. Makes great hot-dogs when I don't feel like cooking. Yum-yum! Probably my second favorite gift...


My all-time favorite gift was given to me in North Carolina. Yes, we went on our trip to see Austin. It was amazing. It was so fun. And like the last time, I never wanted to leave.
We stayed from a Wednesday to Sunday. Austin and I had a date-night to ourselves Friday. We all just had the best time together. The first day I got to see Austin he gave me my favorite gift. It's so beautiful. I love it. I love it so, so much...

I love this ring to the very depths of my soul. It's so beautiful and Austin picked it out all by himself! I love it! He got it from Kay Jewelry. Every kiss begins with Kay... (and ohhhh yeah, he got a kiss for it.) Austin said he couldn't wait to give it to me on our date night, so he gave it to me early. (So impatient...) I think its the most beautiful thing in the world. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I love him. God has blessed me.
 It killed me to leave him. I just wanted to stay...I wanted to take him with us...I didn't cry as much as the last time (thank goodness with his parents standing around), but some tears did fall. Goodness, I miss him already. So, so much.


That's all for now. Til later.

-Sarah

Things Are Looking Up

Good morning everyone! Well, I'm a little down-hearted because I just got finished watching the episode "Journey's End" on Doctor Who (the newer series). The Doctor should have just taken Rose with him...the 2nd Doctor be darned. Someone else could have watched him. The real Doctor and Rose could have flown away in the Tardis and lived happily ever after...until Rose got old and withered away, but whatever! Still a better love story then Twilight.

All Doctor-Who-ness aside, I've got some good news! My financial aid at BCTC has finally been taken care of! I accepted and submitted it yesterday, actually. Now I'm just waiting for the "pending" notification to go away; then my tuition and books are paid for and I'll get a refund sometime in the next month or so. Woot! Woot! God is good-all the time. : )

I've been thinking about starting another small blog on Tumblr. Something has been eating at me lately. I've got this blog all about my Marine and me...which is so, so important to me. It seems to take up a lot of my time...but I'm spending more time worrying and thinking about it then my God. And He should always come first. 

I've been eaten by condemnation and guilt though. How could something take place before my Loving Lord and Savior? So I've decided to start a blog about faith and love in the Lord on Tumblr. I don't have a name for it yet, and I'm not quite sure how it's going to go...but I think it'll help me keep on track more. I'll have something public I'm obligated to; which is embarrassing to say that I have to be obligated to work harder for God...but distractions have been all around me. I think I can get more focused on Him with something physical that I have to write about everyday. 

I'm still praying on it. I'm going to continue praying on it, and I'll let you all know if and when I get it up. 

Some side news-good new! 

I have the best most-likely-probably-yeah-they're-gonna-be-future-in-laws in the world. Yesterday I sent a text to Austin's mom telling her that my dad and I had decided to have a pizza/movie night (Avengers and supreme if you wanna know) yesterday night, so I wouldn't be a church. Well I got a phone call from her not even a two minutes after that. 

We chatted a little and then she said that her and Aust's dad were going to see Austin in NC around the weekend of July 4th. I think Austin gets a day or two of leave or something. Anyway...then she asked if I could take off work and go with them as my birthday gift!
Of course, I accepted and said "yes". How could I resist? 

However, I still have to see if I can get off work for five-ish days...I'll take it as my vacation or something. My boss can't say no (well she could...) it's my birthday! (My birthday is really June 29th but whatever...). I'm hoping and praying that I can get off. I'll work on my days off or something to make up for it. I can do that much at least.
The trip is just in the planning stage though...so who knows? I'm just excited at the thought of seeing Austin. I miss him. 

But I'm going to get some exercise before it rains...maybe go to mom's house for a swim or something. I haven't visited her in a while. I miss her too! 

Thanks for reading everyone, things are looking up,

My God's good<3

-Sarah

No Motivation

I don't know why, well, I might know why, but I don't have any motivation to write lately.

I hate that. I really do. I've been doing a bunch of stuff...I just don't have the motivation to get on here and type it all out. I'm going through a..."transitional" stage in my life right now though. Making some big decisions. Things to keep in my life; if they're worth it; things to take out of my life; my career path; schooling; finding a new job (my current isn't cutting the bills); ect.

I'm having a hard time figuring everything out. I've been distracted a lot lately. I don't know. Call this a funk. Call this a rut. Whatever it is, I'm in it.

I've been thinking about moving out lately too. They're some apartments in town at a good price. If I get a new job like I think I might, I'm thinking about moving out of the house...I'll be closer to school too. I just hate to leave dad by himself though. I don't know how he'd do without me. I'd be constantly worrying over him...

We'll just see.

Oh, and I finally got a reply out of Austin after about 2-3 weeks of non-comunicato. I got told I was loved. I guess that's what counts. Still...a talk will be issued. An overdue talk. Wish my luck and send prayers my way.

Thanks for reading,

-Sarah

"Everything"

My God is my everything, but I know I don't always treat Him that way. In fact, that's most of the time.
I'm so ashamed of that. God gives me so, so many blessings; my family, my health, my house, the fact I woke up this morning, I can breathe, I can walk, I can share the gospel freely! God gives me these things and so much more, but I take it all for granted...I take Him for granted. I break His heart daily and somehow, someway, God always finds the patience and mercy to forgive me and love me.
My Lord died for me; why is it so hard to give Him everything? It sounds like it should be so, so easy to just give yourself and everything over to God. For some reason, I always seem to go in circles.
It feels like I get so, so close to Him...and them I mess up and I drift away. Like a slow fade. I don't even notice that it's happening until I'm so low, I'm on my knees crying out for help.
But I've found that's the perfect position to pray. And I always find that He's always there. Always waiting. He didn't walk away, I did. I'm really tired of walking away. Of drifting away...

There's a song by Lifehouse called "Everything". They hosted a skit for their song. It's beautiful. It's so touching.

Every time I watch this I cry. It just reminds me how thankful I am of my God. How much He has given me. How much He protects me from. He takes away dangers I don't even know exist. He's always constantly working for my well-being...and He just wants me to love Him with my whole heart.

So I'm asking for some prayer, because I'm going through a big trial. I've been questioning a lot of things in my life right now, and I've been doing my best to listen to God and do the right thing and make the right decisions. There are things to be taken out of my life...but there are things to be given. I'm just not sure what those are yet.

"-And be amazed and be changed by a perfect God," - "Perfect People" by Natalie Grant

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31

Thanks for listening,

-Sarah

So Tired Is I, Sleep Is What I Has Not

So tired is I, Sleep is what I has not. Yep. I so just pulled a Yoda.

Anywho! I got some blood test results done if you guys remember; and I have good news today! It's taken so long for the results because I actually had to go in for a second test. They didn't have enough blood for the first one, somehow. Anyway; I have a type of mono called "Epstein Barr" or something like that, and I've had it for so long without knowing it that I'm in the recovery stage. So fluids, vitamins and rest should do it. The best part: I'm not contagious! So there's no hassle at work! I love it. :)

I'm so excited though! I might get to see Austin within the next 2-3 weeks! I'm counting down days, literally. He said he might get to fly down if he gets leave after he gets back from Cali. I'm hoping. I'm praying. I really miss him.
If he can't then I plan on flying over to see him sometime SOON. I've got enough saved up; I've got paychecks coming in. I'll make it work.

I'm nervous too though. I have a wedding coming up that I have to photograph. Well, TWO actually. Just that this first one is on the 7th of June. That's like, a week away. I still don't have a purple shirt to go with my slacks. I need to go shopping. But I'm just worried I'll mess up and ruin the bride's perfect day. This is my first wedding! I'm not getting paid for it, I'm doing it as a gift to the couple (it's my cousin's wedding...). I've been working my camera all week though. Practicing on shots, finding light...ect. Just be praying for me and the couple.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah

"I Hate Sand"

My last post was whiny and down-trodded. I apologize, but I really was a wreck at the moment.

God really hears you when you pray though, and He works things out in His time. Not yours. I praise Him and thank Him every day that it works out like that, because if He gave me everything I wanted, I wouldn't be a very happy person. I wouldn't be the best person I can be. (I'm still not, but I'm getting there!)

An update on Austin:
I know it's not safe to give away the exact day that your soldier is moving somewhere; so I'll just say that Austin is leaving for California very, very soon. He called me yesterday (it was amazing to hear his voice! it always is!) and gave me the impression that he's not very excited about it himself...though, in his circumstances I wouldn't be either. 29 Palms happens to be in the middle of the desert. One comment I heard Austin say over and over was,

"I hate sand."

It was a good phone call. We just really joked a lot; we're a joking couple. Austin can get serious and sweet too though. It's something I love about him. He always surprises me.
Austin's deployment day has been moved too. It's not in December or January anymore. They day he'll be setting off is within the next two months and he's supposed to be gone for around a year. Austin told me that we should still be able to talk and so forth...maybe. Hopefully. I'm really praying on it. I don't know if I could go a year without hearing from him...

Austin should get some leave time after he gets back from California though, in June. I'm really, really looking forward to it. As soon as I know when; I'm taking off work those days and using them as my "vacation days". (Which we really don't have a set amount of days, but a couple of girls are taking a week off at sometime or a another for vacation sooo...) I can't wait to see him! I already have a count-down app set on my phone!
Now, I just have to find him a birthday present...wish me luck!


That's all I'm writing for now, but there should be more later. It's my day off soooo-yep. :)

Thanks for reading!

-Sara

Upset

I'm going to keep this post vague. Because I really just need to let this out without stepping on any toes.

I got some really depressing news today in the middle of dinner. Everyone acted so casual about it; I guess I was the only one who didn't know yet. So I had to act like everything was okay, and I was okay. I wasn't. I went to work earlier this evening in a stooper. I was going through the motions. Now that I've finally gotten home it's all hit me. I can't stop crying.
The worst part is that I heard this information from the wrong person. I should have heard it from the one who it involved. Maybe I'm being selfish and I shouldn't get upset, but I am. I can't help it.  I'm hurt. I'm partially angry. I'm upset. I'm scared. I'm confused.
Something I wasn't going to have to think about until next year is happening very soon. I really wish I didn't find out the way I did.

It just hurts. I'm not entirely sure why it hurts me so much, but it does and I just can't seem to stop from crying now that it's set in. 

I'm asking for prayer. I really need it right now.

A Boring Update

So it's my day off. I slept until ten this morning. I needed it though. Burger House has finally started our summer hours, meaning we close at ten at night now. Me, being a little thing that needs her sleep, is a little anxious by this. We have been really busy though, and on most nights have been taking orders at or after nine, so I guess it makes sense. I just wish it didn't. I get tired darn it!
Hours though. So whoop! (Always the optimist am I...)

So I've got an appointment with BCTC tomorrow to finally straighten this mess out. I've dropped out of the classes I can, finished the ones I couldn't and am in the process of transferring to Eastern Kentucky University. It's gonna cost more, but it'll be worth it. A loan won't be so bad if I get to work in the career field that I really want to.
Anywhoooo-
Yes, I've got the appointment. I've got all the emails printed, the letters sent put in a folder, and all of my information packed away into this cute little professional binder. It's all ready to go. This whole experience has been so ridiculous and energy-consuming, I'm just glad to be finally getting it done and over with. My mother is coming with me because she says she wants a...friendly...word in. Needless to say, it really won't be friendly.
I think she already has a lawyer on speed dial. Yeah. (Not that I'm complaining...)

Quite honestly, I have a lot of stuff I need to do today on my day off...but you know, I'm just really not feeling up to it. I just feel so tired. I just wanna curl up with some Buffy and take cat-naps all day. I need to do my laundry though. And wash my car. And turn over the dirt in my soon-to-be-garden. And sew a patch in one of my shirts. And do some house work that needs to get done. Search the web for ideas on gifts for Austin's mom (it's her birthday this coming Sunday and I almost forgot!!!) Just so much to do. I really don't want to.
I have tomorrow off, but most likely Lexington will take up a majority of my time. That meeting isn't going to be fun. Then my sister is coming with us...I guess her and my mom want to do some shopping or something while we're there. Sometimes I think I was born to be a man, because shopping doesn't appeal to me as it does most women.  I think it's the money-spending. I know I'll spend it if I have it. So I don't like going shopping. I try to stay away from it unless I have to.

Sorry guys, I really don't  have much news to go on. My next post should be good though. I'll be telling you all about my May Month Fitness Challenge inspired by Austin's soon-to-be-trip to Cali for combat training.

Mhmm. Keep it touch! And thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Possible Career Change and I got Baptizd!

Maybe I'm crazy, and this is just one of those ideas that I'm just throwing out there about myself...(like I've done a couple times...) but there's something I've been thinking about lately (and it's NOT guy-related!):

Children + Nursing = Children's Nurse.

Yep. Out there, I know. It's another idea from the medical field, but this isn't coming out of some want for money like my pharmacy idea (that you can read about here). I know. It sounds terrible, but click on the link and read about it first before you judge me! I really thought I wanted that...but it turned out it was just a...faze. I hate those.
I really hope this isn't one. I mean, I really do. Which is why I'm thinking and re-thinking and giving myself time before I go jumping to conclusions about my future. I've been doing some research about being a children's nurse. I'll have to get a regular nursing degree (which takes 2-4 years), get 3-12 months time of internship (preferably as a pediatrics's assistant) and then I have to take a really long, difficult test.

So I really don't want to jump into this before I'm sure-sure-sure. That's three times as sure as normal.
But it all came about when I took a Disaster Relief Training Course not too long ago.

After the initial class, you had an additional specialized class that you could choose from. At first I was going to do food safety with Tanya and Jesse (Aust's parents-we all went together with our church) but something just stopped me. I really had a feeling about the Child Care Class, so I switched over last minute. I'm now "certified" to take care of children in an emergency situation at any Disaster Relief site.
The class was neat. The lady talking to us told us about all the kids and taking care of them. We didn't clean them up and bandage them (that was usually the Red Cross's job-they get to them before we do) but we would take care of them when the parent's weren't around or couldn't be found.

But the class just got me thinking. A lot. I get excited when I think about working with kids. In any situation. I was also thinking about becoming a social worker. I really do love children. I love to play with them and make them laugh! They're just so sweet and too cute! Everyone says I have the patience for working with children too, which I do.
I'm really just gonna look more into Children's Nursing and see if that's what I really want to do. I'm gonna do some major praying on it.

Speaking of prayer, I got baptized today! I've been baptized before, but never at the church I go to now (and am now an "official member" of even though I've been going there a year...). I was nervous, not gonna lie. I had to walk up in front of a bunch of people (which gives me willies anyway!) and trust someone not to drop or drown me while dunking me in water...did I mention it was in front of a bunch of people?! Then afterwards your all dripping wet...and most likely don't have a bra on 'cause you took it off so it wouldn't get wet...and you ladies know what I'm talking about! (So I'll stop there and stop feeding the imaginations of the men reading this) But my grandparents, Austin's grandparents, two of Austin's cousins, my dad and my sister all came to watch. To top it all off, I sung too! I'm now part of the "Valley Girls" (a small group of women that sing together) and am going to start singing with them! I work on most practice days, but Tanya said she could give me CD's or something...it'll all work out. :)

I'm stealing this photo from my sister's instagram! Thanks Rach ;)

 I've got a video that Tanya took, but ya'll aren't seeing that. Haha. Ha. Ha.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Just Call Me "Grouchy Bear"

It's Sunday morning, which is a blessing all in itself! Again, I want to apologize for the lack of posts lately. My motivation has been lacking, my physical strength slacking, and my family has had a rough week to go through.

I don't really have much news to give. Lately, I seem to be in a rut. A really bad rut that I need to get out of. I've been biting people's heads off left and right! It's a wonder my father even tries to speak to me at all! I really don't mean to be this meanie-terrible-person. I'm usually pretty pleasant. I know stress is no excuse for bad behavior, but I'm hacking it and saying that it's mine.
I had a nine-hour work day yesterday, which honestly wasn't bad. I had a lot of fun with the people I work with! There was a ton of laughing and no one really made any mistakes, so it was a good day! (Besides the working through two shifts thing and not having any time for anything yesterday) I'm blessed to have the hours I get now though. I got Thursday added to my schedule, so thumbs up! I'm getting hours! I'm just whining 'cause this my blog and I can :)

 Now, the real reason why I'm all upset. I'm wary to say anything, but it's tied in my blog, and sets the future in the nature of this blog so... I haven't had a decent conversation with Austin for three weeks. He texted me once two weeks ago, and once again last week. I haven't really gotten a response when I've texted him. Which has me on edge, I'm not gonna lie. Usually I've gotten a call...or something by now. I'm not gonna go any deeper than this on here though.

So yes, I've been having this crazy,emotional train running 'round and 'round in my head and heart. I mean, I'm not a blubbering mess or kicking puppies or anything, but I've been pretty grouchy lately and probably not-so-fun to live with. I've been praying a lot though, and I've been preparing myself to make any decision that I have to. (I'm not talking about any one situation so don't jump to conclusions here...) Please be praying for me too. I'm to the point to where I just want a straight answer so I can move on with my life.

But thank you everyone. I know I whine and rant on here a lot more than anything, and I'm working hard to change that. I'm just not too sure what direction my life is gonna take, and that bothers me. I like to plan. I like surety.

Amen.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

The Mysterious Feeling

Hello everyone! I haven't been posting regularly like I always do, I know. Well...I've never had a schedule really...I just kinda...post whenever. But I apologize none-the-less!
I've just been thinking a lot; about the blog, about my maybe/possible/hopefully-coming-along photography business, and of course, a lot about Austin.

I'll start with my photography business.
First I need a name for the bis', which I'm honestly thinking about sticking with slhallphotography. It's the name I've been water-marking my photos with that I take...and it's my name, so it's copy-righted on it's own. I don't have to jump through so many hoops to get my business's official name. And then there's the buying of the equipment if this is what I'm pursuing. I've been thinking about taking out a loan from a local business and getting what I need and paying it off as I go. I'll get my equipment on time, and I'll be building my credit early. Gotta start somewhere.
Which brings me to the blog.
Winging It is made as a journal and whatever-you-want-to-call-it for the relationship between Austin and I. It's to help support other military girlfriends, fiances and spouses. It relieves a lot of stress when I write about what's bothering me, or what's upsetting me in my life. Well, I need a website for my photography business. So do I make a regular website and link this blog to it, or do I make a new blog...? In addition to this one? Because I want to keep a little bit of the "military girlfriend" theme on my photography's website page too. If just to make me more original (and to keep myself interested). I don't know if I could just post pictures in the blog by itself.
I would stop altogether eventually. So those are some thoughts about that...

And then there's Austin. He hasn't done anything, he's been an angel. I just miss him. I just saw him Easter Sunday, but for some reason...I've just been feeling this...heartache for him. This mysterious feeling. It's not normal. I mean, I miss him every single day...but never all chest-achy like this every day. I've felt like this for a week now. I've prayed on it countless times; asked God for strength if that's what I needed, asked for guidance and even just asked Him (if it's in His will) to just make it stop. It comes everyday, all day.
Austin is where he's always been: North Carolina. I'm working, doing school work, and everything I usually do. Nothing out of the norm....so I don't know. Stupid mysterious feeling. He's leaving for California to train for a month or two in May...then I know deployment isn't far away...maybe that's it. I honestly don't know.
I just hope this mysterious feeling goes away. Soon. Like now, please?
I actually cried today. I heard Keith Urban's song "For You" and the tears just came. Stupid woman hormones. Stupid song. Stupid mysterious feeling.

If any of the ladies feel like letting a few water-works loose, here's the video for the song:

I only just noticed it was on the end of "Act Of Valor". (Which if you haven't watched, you need to) That movie made me cry too. I'm just a mess lately. It's almost pathetic, I'm so girly. I swear, I'm usually better about all this...

Well, thanks for reading, I'm off to kill some things on Fallout 3 and regain some of my...dignity.

**Oh, yes, I've added a few definitions to the Marine Jibberish Page! ;)

-Sarah

The Procrastinating Will-Be Gardner

Hello everyone! I got back from work not too long ago...I'm currently taking up residence at my mother's house. I have to meet a potential client tomorrow at noon. Which I'm extremely nervous about, but yeaaah.

You all know how I did a photography session with my friend Kacy and her boo. The photos turned out to be adorable! And a woman who knows them, saw them too and, apparently, thought they were good!
Good enough to ask me to be the photographer at her wedding in June. Yeah.
It raked me a new one! I'm nervous as can be about this! I mean, it's this woman's big day and I don't want to ruin it. Can you imagine?

"Oh, look at that ruined moment that amateur photographer took of us. My nose looks big."

I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow at the destination of her wedding and talk about it. I'm super-nervous and I've waited last-minute to get my portfolio together. Absolute last minute. Very last minute. As in I'm-going-to-Wally-World-In-The-Morning-To-Get-Some-Quick-Photos-Printed-For-My-Portfolio-Last-Minute.
Mhmm. Which brings up the question; is this what I really want to pursue? I mean, I have a co-worker who wants me take photos of her honey-bunny and her too. It's all coming so easy...I mean, I'm wondering if this is something I'm supposed to do. If it's "God-given". (I mean, everything is God-given, but...you know what I mean!)
What would I name my photography business? I'd have to start a second blog!!! (Hehehe...winkwink)

So many things, but I'm too tired to think about them right now...this morning I started on my garden. By hand. Literally. Because I don't have a "turn-over" to turn over the land, and I had a bunch of weeds where my garden is supposed to be, I took a scythe-thingy and a metal rake to that sucker. I worked from 9-12 this morning.

I have blisters on my hands now, but they're satisfying blisters. One is all gross and leaky though...ugh. Bleh. Ow. How do you even treat blisters? I've popped the thing and pulled of some grotesque skin but it's still all....there. And gross. And hurting.
What? Let me whine. It's my blog.

But goodnight all; this girl is hitting the hay! I've gotta get up early!

Wish me luck and thanks for reading,

-Sarah

Transferring?

Hello everyone! I've been slacking off on my posts, I know...

I'm in good spirits though! I've just finished a 1,000 word essay for my English 1011 class that I've been putting off for a week. Talk about procrastination.
I'm terrible, I know.
I'm just so happy to finally get it done! I think it's decent...when I come across some document-sharing website I might get it posted up. It was a personal essay about something you believed and the story behind it. I chose "Good things come to those who wait". (I think it's a good one...) I put the story of Aust's graduation behind it. With my own personal touch, I think my essay was the bomb. : )

I've been having thoughts though. Transferring thoughts. Because yes, I'm working on my classes, however, I feel like I'm working towards a mess. Have you ever had that feeling of dread you ignore? Yeah, that's what I'm feeling. With how much work and trouble it's been, I'm not so sure this is where God wants me. I mean, I still don't have my financial assistance worked out, but BCTC isn't having any trouble sending me my tuition bill twice a week.
So, I think I'm going to get these two classes finished and start looking into National College.

I requested information about them a few weeks ago, and I got my packet in the mail today. They have multiple Financial Aid programs, plus tons of degrees that only take 9 months to finish. You can also start your career before you finish. I'm thinking about setting up an interview with National and talking to a few people before I actually transfer though. Eastern Kentucky University is also an option, and I'll look into them more, but I'm feeling pretty good about National. I'd only have to drive like, 15 miles two times a week to take my classes. That's not bad. At all. (Yes, I've decided my next classes WILL NOT be taken online.)

More decisions...

Thanks for reading! And be on the look out for my next posts! I have a few good ideas...regarding tattoos...more of TWD...possibly marriage? Stay updated!

-Sarah

Well Here We Go Again

Frustration. I'm sorry my posts have been filled with stress and down-trodded-ness...and I'm sorry this is going to be another one. I'm just so frustrated right now. I thought I had all of my schooling worked out; I'm even taking my classes already. It's all fine and dandy...or so I thought.
BCTC sent me an email saying that I had been picked for a process called "verification". I needed to get the "verification worksheet", fill it out and email/mail it in. Which I would understand completely, if I hadn't sent that form in via email months ago. (I even have the email saved that I sent!) This just gives me the answer to all my troubles.
Someone isn't doing their job.
I get paid to do my job right, even if it's just restaurant work. I thought it was a universal rule or something.

Do your job (right). Get paid. Simple.
 And with how much my tuition bill is, I know they get a slice of that cake. I hate the feeling that I'm paying someone to not do their job.

But there's another universal rule I'm forgetting.
When I was small, my father was the stay-at-home-guy. Still is. He broke his back in his last job and can't work anymore, so it was up to my mother to support the family. So, my dad is the regular "Mr. Mom". He does an awesome job at it. He's an awesome cook.
Anyway, when I was little, and I was crying and whining for what I wanted or I was upset. I would say the same thing;

"But, that's not fair!"

My dad would smile (this evil, I-know-more-than-you-parent-smile) and say;

"Well, honey. Life's not fair."

Hence, my life.

Thanks for reading guys! I'm hoping to get some more DIY's up soon. I've got the stuff, I just need the motivation, and the time. I have an 8-hour work day today and church tomorrow (then work). So please bare with me.

-Sarah

Confusing

Men are confusing and don't ever know what they truly want.

Period.

Just Some Thoughts

Okay, a little while back I decided that Pharmacy wasn't the path my life was meant to go (or that I'm mis-reading God's signals if it is). Honestly, I think I knew that, it's just that the path I really think I'm meant to go down isn't really...financially sound. 

I want to spend my life in charity. Spreading awareness and supporting charities that don't get the recognition they deserve for all that they do. I would rather live in poverty then sit by and watch someone suffer because they don't have the means to support themselves; because they don't even get the chance. I want to spread the grace of God through love and support of others. 

I'm just not sure how to do that yet. I've been having thoughts concerning starting an online charity store selling items and products made from recycled materials (in addition to my efforts as an awareness-raising journalist). It's all in my head, but it's all jumbled. I need to get organized and make some decisions. 

On another note, another very exciting note; I'm going to finally be starting my online college classes.
Yes, after many, many months of boring phone calls that got no-where, lots of campus visits, and tons of frustration, it's done. I'm starting this next Tuesday on two classes to get my Financial Aid processed ( I have to get the classes done by April 30th) and then once the Aid is processed I can go ahead and get enrolled in my next classes. 

So I'm very, very excited! I can't wait. I'm so glad I got this new advisor; she is working miracles for me. I just have to get these two classes done by April 30th, which is more then enough time. 

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

A Cause: Human Trafficking Awareness

Awareness. If you know; then you're more apt to do something about it.

I've been researching a topic for the last two weeks that really breaks my heart. Human Sex Trafficking.

Human trafficking or human sex trafficking is the illegal trade and buying of humans through various means. Victims are abducted, persuaded by various means through fraud or false promises, and are even forced or threatened. 

found on google.com

Men and women of all ages, mostly 17 years or younger, are forced into the commercial sex trade by their captures or pimps. They are bought, sold and passed around like products in the market. In many nations over seas, children in the trade are worth less than cattle.

There are 27 million people involved in sex trafficking in the USA alone. There are 10 million known sex traffic brothels overseas. There are at least 2,000 people being sold into slavery everyday.

There are more human slaves now then any other time known in history.

I want to give Mariah Dawn a big hand for her video on Sex Trafficking Awareness. You can find her on YouTube. I love her videos. The one posted below is her second Sex Trafficking Awareness video. Or you can click here to watch the link on YouTube.

This is a bit different then my usual posts, but when I got reading more and more about this injustice, I knew I couldn't keep it myself. I literally get tears in my eyes when I think about these people go through. Being forced away from your family and friends, being sold, beaten and raped everyday. On some accounts, you're killed.
You can find out more about Sex Trafficking at the I Stop Traffic Page.
Feel free to follow this link too:  http://istoptraffic.com/home.html

found on google.com

You can purchase blue ribbons here at the Blue Ribbon Campaign to help spread awareness.

Also, I will supporting Sex Trafficking Awareness by disappearing from any social media sites all day on Feb 27th. That means I will not be posting on Tuesday. You can join the official page on Facebook here at the Disappear From Social Media Day Page on Facebook.

Also if you're interested in tshirts spreading awareness for Human Trafficking or other causes, check out Sevenly (http://www.sevenly.org/). It's a website dedicated to helping charities. You can help by buying tshirts and other products they sell.

Thanks for reading everyone.

-Sarah

Just Thinking

Tomato soup and cheese toasted on Tolara rolls.
That's some good stuff right er'.

I'm out of my funk. It's gone and I'm in a good mood! Well, a lazy mood...a lazy, uncertain mood. I haven't done a thing in the past two days. Not a thing.
I feel so, so, so lazy. I've got to get a hobby. Or maybe just some more motivation. I've been waiting for my advisor to email back (since I emailed her yesterday morning) and that wait has just been torture.
I've been scared to hear her reply really. I have. Because I told her that I kinda-really-maybe wanted to change my educational plans...

I've been thinking a lot lately, mostly because Austin and I talked about a lot last weekend. Like, about my Pharmacy plans. He said he "knows I can do it". I know I can too...if I really wanted. Honestly I think the idea is more appealing because of the challenge and accomplishment I would feel afterwards than me actually enjoying it. I'm ashamed to say that the pay I would receive also peaks my interest. A lot.
That's doesn't seem right. It really doesn't and I've been praying about it. I'm not too sure that's where God intends for my life to go. I think He has something better planned for me.
It's just so hard to figure out what God wants me to do in life, but I know that if I just sat down and really listened for a moment, it'd be easy.

I have a few different ideas, ones that make me really excited. I've had the ideas in my head for the longest time, and I've even told a few people about them...but I don't know. I don't want to say anything about it until I've read more and feel more certain. I'd really enjoy it, I know I would. I wouldn't be making much of anything, and it'd be a hard road, but I think it'd be worth it in the end. All I can tell you is it incorperates some things I love:

• God
• Making a difference
• Writing/Journalism
• Art
• Probably some traveling
• Lots of love 

 I've just got a lot of thinking to do. A lot of praying. Be praying with me?

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

Reality Check

Alright. I know, I had this big countdown and then I left you all hanging. I was in a bit of a funk for a day or two after I got back so I apologize. No, my trip didn't put me in a "funk" but returning to the real world did.
My weekend was amazing; I was in my own little piece of Heaven. Well, Jacksonville.

This is not my photo. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't get any pictures during my weekend.
None. And I'm sorry because I promised you all some. :(

My first plane from the LEX Airport started boarding around 12:20 Friday afternoon. I got stopped in security. Well, I got searched in security. (Patted down and everything...by a woman, thank God...I think) Apparently cord/wooden bracelets and purity rings don't do well in the X-Ray...thing.
My flight connected to the airport in Charlotte, NC and then a short 30minute flight to Jacksonville. I arrived around 3:40ish in the afternoon or something like that. After a short wait (and a few phone calls/texts to my parents and other adolescences and peers that worry about my well-being) I got a text from Austin telling me that he just got out from the field. (Which meant him un-packing, showering, getting re-packed for the weekend, ect)
He wasn't able to pick me up as planned because it would have taken too long, so I took a taxi ride(from a guy named "Bobby" who liked to call me sweetheart) and after a phone call and a hotel switch I found myself at The Quality Inn's lobby reading the Hobbit waiting for Austin to arrive.

(** For those of you poor, poor people who don't know what the Hobbit is, please take a moment to click here. Then buy the book. Seriously, the movie does none of it justice.)

One moment I'm reading, the next Austin is in the lobby and I've jumped up and flung myself in his arms. (It was like something like hallmark...I promised myself I wouldn't ever be one of those girls. I couldn't help myself.) The greeting was brief, neither of us being one for PDA, but...perfect. The weekend was perfect. We shopped around the mall and saw Warm Bodies. We went out to eat a lot. (Speaking of which, has anyone ever seen a Marine eat? God, it's scary-ish. Austin had his plate clean in like, 30 seconds, then all he had to do was sit and watch me eat. Which made me nervous and not-so-hungry...) He showed me around Camp Lejeune, which is like a whole town itself. It's so big!
Around Sunday both of us were just exhausted from running around the whole weekend, so we just chilled at the hotel and watched SouthPark/Family Guy on Netflix all day and lazed around. (Well, Austin played his new Pokemon Soul Silver version...I just kinda cat-napped the whole day) ((We're both just lazy people.))
 Monday was a sad day, the day I had to get on my plane and go home. Austin took me out to the Golden Corral for breakfast and then off to the Airport we went.

I'm not gonna lie, leaving was so, so hard. I felt my heart breaking in two on the drive over. What really got me was Austin murmuring "You're leaving me..." in the car on the way over. I already did my crying that morning in the shower before we went to breakfast in order to avoid making the separation harder. We parked and Aust walked me inside and we just sat in the lobby and waited. He said "he appreciated me coming to see him" and I told him "he was welcome". Our goodbyes are always like that; so polite and not-so-casual. Trying not to make a big deal out of it...it's a way of making it easier I think. (I didn't really help, I teared up anyway) Finally it was time for me to board. We embraced and I hugged him for as long as I would let myself.
"I'll see you soon." is what he always says. Even when it's not going to be "soon". He says time passes by fast. I guess.
Then the tears tried to start...it was so hard. I hated leaving him. He helped me get my stuff over to the security check and we kissed for the last time. A light, feather kiss on the lips, and then his signature kiss on my forehead. Bittersweet really. He said he'd stay until I got through security. I kept turning around and looking at him, I couldn't help it. The check went without incident...and I gathered my bags and turned to look at him one last time. I mouthed "I love you" and sent him an air-kiss. I caught his response on my lips before finally turning away for the last time and making myself walk away.

I know people thought I was crazy, or just...I don't know. I was crying so much sitting in that airport chair, waiting for my zone to be called. I only thing I wanted to do was walk out of there back to Austin. Which I know, sounds so selfish and unpractical. I mean, I come home and I have family that love me and missed me while I gone. My dad came to pick me up from the airport because I was so tired. I have my life in Kentucky, but (brace yourselves for cheesy-ness) my heart is in North Carolina.
The way home was hard. I just kept thinking how miserable it felt to leave him. The rest of the day was...harder still. I missed him. I still miss him. A lot.
Which is selfish because I actually got to see him. He has so many people waiting on him at home, and I got to see him and I'm complaining that I miss him...Gah.

Well, I'm blessed and thankful I got to go. Austin called me last night to tell me he'd be in the field all week and wouldn't be able to talk until the weekend. He helped get me out of my funk a lot. I told him how much I was missing him and complained a bit about how hard the whole situation is. I'm a lot better now, because he just pointed out something obvious that I kinda already knew, but...if he wasn't in the Marines, he would be in college for about four years. Our relationship would be the same then. Him being at EKU (coming home every other weekend) and me being at BCTC and working. The waiting would still be there. And honestly, I don't think we'd be as close as we are, if that makes any sense. I think the separation as made us...closer.
It's not the easiest situation, but its not the worst and it's something I'm willing to work through. It's worth it.
He's worth it. 

So I'm going to work hard and keep busy. Hopefully, time really will fly by.

Sorry about all the whining and the late update. My next post will be more upbeat and have more pictures.

Thanks for reading!

-Sarah

A Phone Call and Update

I love phone calls and I never used to. It was after I met Austin that I really started to get excited about them. Hearing his voice, about his day, what's been going on in his life...it just makes me happy. I love him.

This is the signed Ever After coat receipt from the book I got for Austin.
He literally whined for it over the phone and made me promise
to get it for him...he hasn't ever even read the first book.

 Austin called while we were waiting in line to get the book signed by Kim. 

He's moved units and is "actually starting training" now. 

(today he's doing something with engineering...) 

We talked about my coming down to see him. I'm buying the round-a-bout tickets (at an awesome price I found on Priceline! a lot less expensive then I thought it would be) and such, then we're just going to pick the hotel when I get there. 

I'm thinking I'll stay from a Thursday to Monday; if just to make sure I get to spend every second I can with Austin while I'm there. 

I'm just anxious to see him since he told me about his deployment that'll be happening in around a year. I want to be able to see him as much as possible while I can. Austin will be going out to California for training before then too...
I don't know how I feel about it all. It hasn't really sunk in I guess. The thing is I'm not really feeling sad or upset and I feel like I should. Like I'm betraying him by not crying or feeling depressed.

Actually I'm at peace with it. I mean, I've known that he'd have to deploy sometime, I just didn't know when and now that I know...I'm still just at peace with it. All of this got confirmed only last night...

And the only thing I'm crying over is the sad ending to this Drop Dead Diva episode. 

It was so not fair of Grayson to kiss Stacy. She's not Deb.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah